


Maybe

by allofspace



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: 1x06, Canon Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s01e06 The Yellow Couch, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 08:33:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8616982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofspace/pseuds/allofspace
Summary: 1x06 killed me (as i'm sure it did everyone), so I've rewritten the ending, or rather added on to it.





	1. Chapter 1

"Philip was telling the truth," Lukas was saying to Helen.

Philip couldn't move. He stared in shock as Lukas handed the gun to Helen. It felt good to see Helen looking shocked, and though he couldn't see Gabe's face he could imagine it. They were nice people of course, but Helen was a cop with trust issues. He couldn't exactly blame her for that, but it had hurt to finally give them some truth just for them to think he was lying. Lukas of course hasn't helped with that. Lukas was a whole other problem.

Philip wanted to get away from all of it. It would be so much easier to move and never see Lukas again. Gabe's words from the dock were haunting him though. The pain is his chest, the sickness in his stomach. He didn't want to love Lukas. Why would anyone want to live with this pain? 

Even as Lukas was still explaining to Helen, Philip couldn't move. Lukas gave Philip guilty sideglances but Philip's face stayed stone cold. He wouldn't give away his feelings. He still wants to leave, this didn't change anything. He would probably end up with a much worse family than Gabe and Helen, but he probably wouldn't have all these expectations to uphold either.

He'd tried to be good, he believed he was good. But he couldn't blame Helen and even Lukas' Dad for not trusting the "city kid". That is what he'd always be.

He looked away as Gabe finally got out of the truck and opened Philip's door.

"I'm so sorry, Philip," Gabe said.

The words were nice but didn't mean much. Philip knew Gabe had believed him as long as he could. Even in the morning, waiting for Helen to return, Gabe told Philip that Lukas had dropped him off on the front steps. Gabe had tried to get more information from Philip but he was done. There was no point in trying anyway, because he was leaving. He was done with this stupid small town and it's homophobic residents. Lukas most of all.

"It's fine," Philip said. He tried to sound nonchalant, always trying to be chill and hide his emotion but his voice betrayed him. 

Gabe hugged him and his eyes stung but he pushed the tears back, that just wasn't going to happen. 

"Why would you lie to me?" Helen was saying to Lukas. Philip couldn't help but look up at this, he wanted to see what other lies would come out of his mouth. 

"I didn't want anyone to know..." Lukas said, as his eyes finally met with Philip's. 

"To know what you saw?" Helen probed. She looked over at Philip, obviously confused by their prolonged eye contact. 

Lukas turned back to Helen. "To know I was with Philip."

Silence. No one spoke, Philip's heart pounded in his chest. His eyes wide. He knew Gabe was looking at him for some confirmation but he was frozen. 

"Please don't get him in trouble, I made him promise not to tell," Lukas continued.

"I'm confused. I thought you hated each other. What is going on?" Helen said. 

"Philip?" Gabe asked, but Philip couldn't speak. It still didn't feel like it was his to tell. What did Lukas plan on saying now? 

Their eyes met again and Lukas's were wide in terror. Philip almost felt bad but the week's events got in the way of having too much pity. 

Finally Philip spoke. He needed to comfort Lukas. He hated him right now but he still loved him.

"It'll be okay. If you tell them, they'll understand. I promise." And with the last part Helen looked away guiltily and Gabe gave him a tight smile and a tighter squeeze to his shoulder.

"I... I like Philip," Lukas mumbled.

Helen looked confused at first, unsure why being seen as friends would be so complicated, until it dawned on her.

"Oh. Oh, okay. Wow." Helen wasn't the best with words. 

Gabe was better, but he didn't use them. He let go of Philip and walked over to Lukas. Philip saw him flinch away, and he wondered if Lukas thought his own dad would hit him. But Gabe hugged him. 

Philip couldn't help but let a small smile slip onto his face. 

"Let's go inside," Gabe said, breaking the tension.

Philip's face fell. He hadn't decided to stay. This didn't change much for him. 

"Philip, please don't leave me," Lukas said. The pain in his voice drowned out everything else in Philip's head.

"Maybe for a little longer," Philip replied and got out of the truck. 

Lukas' smile was small but warm. Philip tried to return it but he was still hurt. He just wanted Lukas to be happy. He wouldn't be happy hiding who he was, but Philip couldn't help but think Lukas would be better off without him. 

"I need to get this to Tony," Helen said. 

"We'll be waiting," Gabe replied. Philip could tell Gabe was tired of all the lies and the homicide, but Philip couldn't help but want this case closed as much as Helen. Maybe they could help now. Maybe everything would get better. 

Philip's shoulder brushed against Lukas' arm. 

Maybe.


	2. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip and Lukas finally get to talk after Lukas comes out to Gabe and Helen.

Helen had left to take the gun to Tony. 

Gabe walked into the house, holding the door for Philip and Lukas who were trailing behind awkwardly. Philip knew Lukas kept glancing at him, but he couldn't look back. None of this made up for how Lukas had treated him this week. Philip kept chewing the inside of his own cheek, trying to decide what the hell he's going to say to Lukas, especially with Gabe there. Was Gabe going to ask for some big explanation once they were inside? He really could not deal with that right now. He needed to get his thoughts sorted out. He needed to talk to Lukas first, to know what the hell was going on. Thankfully, Gabe seemed to sense this. 

"Why don't you boys go talk? I'll make some coffee," Gabe said. 

Philip mustered a smile for him, because he really was a good guy and Philip was thankful for him. 

"Come on," Philip said. Lukas' eyes lit up and he followed Philip eagerly without a word. 

They went into Philip's room, which wasn't exactly far away from the kitchen, but it would have to do. Philip trusted Gabe to try not to eavesdrop. 

Lukas seemed awkward in Philip's room. It was usually Philip who was at Lukas's house, not the other way around. Lukas took a seat on Philip's bed and when Philip shut the door, Lukas finally let out a sigh. His head fell into his hands, his elbows on his knees. 

"Holy shit," Lukas said. 

Philip didn't know how to respond. He didn't even know what huge thing Lukas was reacting to at the moment. 

"I can't believe I just told the sheriff and her husband," Lukas explained. 

Philip just nodded. He was so torn between wanting to comfort Lukas and wanting to yell at him, he just ended up standing there in silence. 

Lukas must have noticed finally, because he looked up at Philip. Lukas' red eyes caused a sharp pain in Philip's chest, and damn, he may be able to act chill, but he cound't keep away from Lukas for some reason. 

"Philip, I'm so sorry," Lukas pleaded. He didn't have to though, because Philip was already on his way over. He sat on the bed beside Lukas and let Lukas bury his head into his shoulder. 

"It's okay," Philip said, and it scared him how much he meant it. Why does he keep letting Lukas treat him like shit and get away with it? He wished he could be stronger, but he knew the struggle Lukas was going through. It's not easy to deal with a whole new identity for yourself, wondering how your family and friends will react, plus everything they witnessed together. It's been rough on both of them. 

"It's not," Lukas replied. He lifted his head up as he was shaking it, until their eyes were level. Lukas' hand was stroking Philip's cheek. It was so comforting, Philip knew this touch, it was everything that he's always craving. Lukas leaned in and kissed him. 

Lukas must have been expecting Philip to reject him, because it was so soft and tentative. It was Lukas asking to be forgiven, and Philip wanted to give Lukas anything and everything he asked for. He bit Lukas' lip whose breath hitched, before he starts kissing more intensely. Minutes pass in a swirl of tongues and lips and soft bites, and Philip doesn't know when they end up horizontal, but they do. 

"Stop," Philip said quietly, and then louder because his voice wasn't working as it should. "Stop, hold on." He was breathless.

Lukas nodded in agreement, and Philip was thankful he didn't look as sad anymore. His lips were red now instead of his eyes. 

Philip smiled at Lukas, a real smile this time. The smile he got back looked like relief and he wished they never had to leave... but they would have to, so they were going to have to talk. 

"You can't... I can't," Philip said, searching for the right words.

"I know, I know," Lukas added quickly.

"No, stop. I can't stay, Lukas," Philips said. 

Lukas stops breathing, eyes wide, like his world is about to fall apart. 

"I can't stay if you're just going to jerk me around," Philip finished. He didn't feel bad for whatever assumptions Lukas had come to just then, he deserved it anyway. 

"I know," Lukas said slowly. "Fuck, I know. I've been... this week has been pretty messed up. Rose, she... got me some pain meds from her mom."

Philip sighed. He'd tried so hard to keep Lukas away from all that, to keep him from becoming just like Philip's mother. Is this what his life was meant to be? Surrounded by people who claimed they loved him, but just loved drugs a little bit more. 

"No, Philip, listen. I know," Lukas said quickly, trying to explain. "I stopped now. I needed it to stop, but you were right. It wasn't going to stop. I had to tell Helen. I'm so fucking sorry for everything I said."

Philip just nodded. He didn't know what else to do. 

"I know... Thanks for bringing me home last night," Philip said. 

Lukas just shook his head. "You passed out under a fucking car."

Philip didn't remember much about the night before. There was still a dull aching in his head from the hangover. 

"Lukas... Why did you come over just now?" Philip asked, because it had been bugging him. What finally made Lukas come to his senses?

"Uh, I was meeting with a sponsor." Lukas looked up at Philip, and quickly back down again. "And my dad said you weren't going to be a problem anymore, that you were leaving," Lukas explained, clearly trying not to cry. "And I watched that stupid video you sent me."

Philip bit his lip, he'd been wondering if Lukas ever watched it. Lukas looked up and smiled at him. 

"And I just... I got up and left. My dad is so going to kill me," Lukas said, rubbing his forehead. 

Philip felt suddenly guilty. "You... you walked out on a sponsor?"

"Sort of..." Lukas answered. 

"You're the idiot," Philip said, rolling his eyes. He couldn't believe Lukas would just blow off a sponsor like that. "What are you going to tell your dad?"

Lukas just shrugged.

There was a knock at the door. "Lukas?" It was Gabe. 

They got off the bed and opened Philip's door. 

"Your dad just called, wondering if you were here," Gabe said, looking at Lukas. 

Philip looked at Lukas, who just looked very tired. 

"Shit," Lukas said. Reality was already coming back to them, dragging them kicking and screaming actually. 

"I told him you weren't here."

Philip's head whipped back to Gabe. He wasn't the type of guy to lie, but the two men were obviously very different, and clearly Gabe understood that.

"I'd rather not lie though, so when you're ready, maybe you can call him and let him know you're okay," Gabe suggested.

Lukas nodded. "Thank you. I will."

Gabe nodded back and started to walk away. "Coffee's ready," he said over his shoulder.

Philip raised his eyebrows at Lukas in question, who answered with a short nod. "Yeah, coffee sounds good."

They sat with Gabe quietly, and the older man seemed to take mercy on them asking Lukas about school and motocross. After a while, Lukas decided he should probably call his dad. 

Gabe handed him the phone. "You know, he might be more understanding than you give him credit for."

"He didn't like me hanging out with Philip he thought I was just friends with a 'city kid', I really doubt he'd be okay with...," Lukas paused. "This." He motioned between himself and Philip. 

Philip just pursed his lips. Lukas took the phone to another room.

Gabe sighed loudly. "Things make a lot more sense now at least. The secrecy, the sneaking around..." Gabe said. "What about the fights?"

"What, those don't make sense now?" Philip asked with a short laugh.

"Not to me, I guess," Gabe replied. "Does he... are you sure he treats you okay?"

Philip paused. Why did Gabe even care so much? "Yeah. He's just... complicated. It's hard for him," Philip tried to explain. 

Gabe just nodded, sipping his coffee. Thankfully he didn't ask anymore questions. 

Lukas came back into the kitchen. "Well, I better go."

"What did you tell him?" Philip asked.

"Uh, not much. Just that I had to tell Helen the truth, and that I was just scared of what I saw. He's pissed, but he says he understands," Lukas shrugged.

Philip really hoped Gabe was right about Bo, and that he was more understanding than they were giving him credit for. But he didn't exactly blame Lukas for not coming out to the guy right away. 

"I'll walk you out," Philip said, getting up. 

"Uh, thanks Mr. Caldwell," Lukas said, waving to Gabe. 

"Call me Gabe, and... come over anytime, Lukas."

Philip and Lukas walked outside and over to Lukas's bike.

"I'm gonna break up with Rose," Lukas said. 

Philip couldn't help but look surprised. 

"Shut up," Lukas responded to the gesture. "I'm not coming out or anything. And she'll probably hate me and tell everyone we didn't actually have sex... but I can't pretend to be with her anymore."

Philip pulled Lukas forward into a kiss. 

"Gabe probably saw that," Philip said, wanting to see Lukas' reaction. 

Lukas shrugged. "It kinda feels good, you know, someone else knowing. Now we have a place where we don't have to hide."

Philip smiled and kissed Lukas again. 

"Oh man, don't get me going, please. I gotta go get yelled at by my dad," Lukas said. 

"Good luck," Philip said sincerely. "See you tomorrow?"

"Definitely," Lukas said, leaning in for one more kiss. Then he mounted his bike and rode away. 

Inside, Gabe hurried away from the window as Philip turned back toward the house. He really was not expecting this, but he couldn't help but feel happy for Philip, remembering their conversation on the dock. His foster son was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for any cheesiness, i just needed happy philkas in my life


End file.
